The Code I Wish I’d Known: What They Don’t Tell You in Kallah Class

Let me tell you a story.

There was once an excited kallah, looking ahead to a bright future—full of love and passion, ripe with confidence. She and her husband were going to build something magnificent together.

She sat through her kallah classes like a good student. Didn’t ask many questions—because really, what was there to ask? It was all straightforward. Black and white. Right?

Then she got married.
And she was riding cloud nine—or rather, it was cloudy up there on cloud nine. People always say that like it’s a good thing, but her view was just… well, cloudy.

The excitement, the passion, the love—it was hard to see sometimes.
Those straightforward lessons started to sound like fiction once she was actually living them.

But who to turn to? Who to ask?
She reassured herself: “I’m not a problem case. I’ll just figure it out, like everyone else.”

So she tried to.
For a long time.

Whenever she overheard conversations about marriage, connection, or Taharas Hamishpacha, she listened intently.
Would someone finally ask the question she was thinking?
Maybe that trick someone mentioned would work for her, too.

Or even worse—she began to wonder if something was wrong with her.
Because no one else seemed to be struggling.
No one else seemed to have a hard time with being niddah, or endless staining, or always wondering if they were doing it wrong, G-d forbid.

And then… an email changed everything.

It was calling women to join a class.
Kind of like this one.

So, in desperation—she joined.
And what she learned shocked her.

Turns out, there were hundreds of other women with the same questions. The same disillusionment.
What shocked her even more?
How far Torah went in describing the most personal parts of a couple’s relationship—and in the most positive way possible.

Wait… this didn’t have to be hard?
My own needs, my own pleasure, my own voice… they mattered?
Wow.

And that was just the beginning.

She kept learning.

She read more. She met more women looking for answers.
She learned about trust. Safety. How to connect with her body. Her femininity.

And slowly, the pieces started falling into place.
She began building the foundation she had been missing all those years.

Eventually, she decided to train as a kallah teacher.
Maybe, she thought, if she had a broader understanding of Taharas Hamishpacha, things would be clearer. Less confusing.

And that’s where things got very interesting.
Because not only did she find clarity—she found something priceless.

A roadmap. A blueprint. A code.

All those treasured pieces of wisdom—the ones that had the greatest impact on her life—were woven into this ancient ritual all along.

Without knowing it, she had held the code in her hands the whole time.
But a code is meaningless if you don’t know how to use it.

So she made a choice:
To speak up.
To tell other women about the treasure they were holding onto—so they could use it, too.

She called it Becoming One.

She built a course. Not just to share the code—but to help women apply it.
To support them in using it to strengthen their own lives and marriages.

And the changes?
They’ve been real.

How do I know?
Because she’s me.

And what pushes me to keep teaching this are the messages I get from women like you—women who’ve tapped into something more.

More meaning.
More beauty.
More alive.

So... Do You Want More?

I know Jewish women have a lot going on this time of year.
It can be hard to think about after the big P word (Pesach!).

But just ask yourself for a moment—
Do you want more?

If you do, I’m here to help you find it.