The Fear-Go-Round

Fear.
It’s an interesting emotion.

It has the power to keep us stuck. Rooted in place. Afraid to make a move.
And often -if you’re anything like me - there are a million and one reasons, explanations, justifications. All of them are perfectly rational. All of them are true.

In fact, if your subconscious mind is as creative as mine, it will even have a compelling argument for why it’s actually better not to move at all.

Fear loves to tell us, “There’s nothing you can do.”

But really, we do have a choice.

We’re already making it.

And just because the next step is terrifying doesn’t mean it’s unavailable-

It just means it’s asking something from us. 

But here’s the thing, usually what we’re most afraid of is already happening.
Maybe not in the exact details. But the core theme? Yeah. That’s often already in play.

I find myself in that place now.
There’s this thing I’ve known I should do. A next step, if you will.
In full transparency, I’ve known it for a few years.

And every time I think about taking that step, I freeze.
A whole symphony of what ifs and buts and it’s not the right time starts playing.
But underneath all of it is the same truth: I feel terrified.

Is it because I’m afraid this step won’t turn out to be the “game changer” I want it to be?
Or because of the unknown that comes after?
Maybe it’s the point of no return that has me stuck in place.

I’m not sure.

But here’s what I do know about fear; it moves us in circles.
It has us scanning for safety from every angle.
It’s trying to tell us: there may be a threat here - tread lightly, stay alert.

But fear doesn’t automatically mean stop.

One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned from my friend and colleague Fally Klein is how to tell the difference between resistance and a true no in the body and nervous system.
Most of the time, fear keeps us spinning in resistance.
A real no, though, is deadpan. Clear. A full stop.

And what’s even scarier than fear is stagnation.

I recently heard a song about someone being shown who they could have been had they not hesitated, had they not held back.
It struck a chord.

We are exceptionally good at creating stories about all the reasons we shouldn’t.
Nobel Prize level stories.

But what if we did?
What if it did make a difference?
What if it really was the next right step?
What if it moved you closer to where you want to go?
And what if you regretted it- but learned something essential along the way?

What if it didn’t have to be the last step, or the end of the story, but just another page?

So I think I’m going to do it.
The thing I’ve been afraid to do for years.

My heart is in my stomach. It’s hard to breathe.
And I think I’ll still be okay.

Because I have a choice to make.
I’ve been making the same one for a long time, and it hasn’t brought me closer to where I want to go.
So I’m choosing to try a different one now.

If you’re in a similar place, know this:
You’re not alone.

Let’s do it together.
Let’s make a pact - to hold hands, jump in, and do the thing we know we should, even with fear riding shotgun.

See you on the other side.